Santa Banta Jokes

***************************************
Sardar’s Son – Papa jaldi-2 mera viya kra deo nahi ta main DAADI nal viya kra lavanga.
Sardar:oye tu meri MAA nal viya krayenga.!
Son:-kyo tusi meri MAA nal ni krayea..
***************************************

Santa : Meri biwi mujhe chorr ke chali gayi.
Banta : Tu uska khyal nahi rakhta hoga.
Santa : Arre yaar…Sagi behen ki tarah rakhta tha usko!
***************************************

Santa : Preeto chal honeymoon te chaliye.
Preeto : Mein velli nahi, main halle kapde v dhone e, te pande vi manjne e, tusi beeji nu le jao.
***************************************

English Teacher: “One cute and young girl is walking on the road.” Change this into an punjabi exclamatory sentence.
Sardar student:- “Oye,pataka !”
***************************************

SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.
1.Strength: My wife, Jeeto.
2.Weakness: Banta’s wife, Preeto.
3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.
4.Threat: When I am on tour!!!
***************************************

Clean SMS Jokes

****************************************
Santa : Yaar aaj mein bus ke peeche peecha daudkar three rupees bacha liye.
Banta : Kya yaar, tum to bahut murkh ho, agar taxi ke peeche bhagte to 100 rupees bachta!
****************************************

Air hostess: Aap 1 hours me 4 baar toilet gaye! R U OK? Kya aap ko chein nahi hai?
Santa: ‘Chain’ hai par khulti nahi hai!!!
****************************************

Wife: Please bike itni taze na chalao mujhey bahut dar lag raha hai.
Sardar: Agar tumhe bhi daar lag raha hai to meri tarah ankhein band karlo!!!
****************************************

Sardar to doctor: Jab mein sota hu to mere sapne me monkeys football khelte hai.
Dr: Koi baat nahi ye medicine sone se pehle kha lena.
Sardar: Kal se khaonga, aaj to final hai!!!
****************************************

Sardar Funny Jokes

***************************************
A sardar had a baby after 3 months of marriage. He suspected
and asked to his wife, “Ye 3 month me hi baccha kaise hua?”

Wife Replied : Tumhari shaadi ko kitne din hue?
Sardar :  Three months

Wife : Aur meri shaadi ko?
Sardar : 3 months.

Wife : Aur bacha kitne month ke baad?
Sardar : 3 months.

Wife : Total kitne months hue?
Sardar : Oye 9 months & start dancing Balle Balle!!!!
***************************************
Sardar ne makhi ke legs tod kar kaha, Ja udd ja..
Lekin Makkhi nahi udi, Sardar ne kaha..
“Aab to saabit ho gaya ki agar makkhi ke legs tod di jaye
to makkhi sun nahi sakti!!!”

***************************************
Ek sarder ne air-hostess se kaha, “Aapki shakal meri biwi
se bahut milti hai”.
Air-hostess ne ye sunte hi zordaar thappad uske muh pe mara…
Sardar foran bola : “Aadat bhi bahut milti hai”

***************************************
Ek din Santa jungle se gujar raha tha
Chudail ne use roka aur kaha : Ho ho ho Ha ha ha…Mein Chudail hu.
Sardar : Menu pata hai…kyunki teri ek behen meri biwi hai!

****************************************
Ek chor Sardar jee k mobile ko lekar bhar raha tha.
Sardar hasne laga
Banta : Wo tumhare mobile ko lekar bhag raha hai aur tum hans rahe ho.

Sardar : Bhagne do, charger to mere paas hai!

****************************************
Sardar ke radio me kuch problem ho gayi to aur kharab ho gaya
Usne radio khol kar dekha to ek mara hua chuha mila
Ye dekh kar sardar gussa ho gaya aur bola : Ye chalega kaise?
Sala singer hi mara pada hai
****************************************

Short SMS Text Messages

****************************************

what is the extreme limit of stupidity? Two Sardars sitting on a Rikshaw….,
and….,
fighting for a corner seat.

****************************************

A Sardar looking at sky asks another Sardar :Is that a sun or moon? Other Sardar replies :Oye ! No idea…Im new to this city..

****************************************

Ladkiyon ke college me strike thi,
Ladke bhi unke saath the
Ladkiyon ne naara lagaya:
“HUMARI MAANGE”
Pichhe se awaaz aayi:
“SINDUR SE BHARO”

****************************************

More Funny Messages

************************************************
A funny theorem in mathematics :
Can you prove, 4=5
Yes it is true, here is the proof :
For this, we take three variable a, b and c.

Suppose, if :
a + b = c
We can also write the same in this way :
5a – 4a + 5b – 4b = 5c – 4c
=> 5a – 5b – 5c = 4a + 4b + 4c
=> 5 * (a+b+c) = 4 * (a+b+c)
=> 5=4 or 4=5

************************************************
Teacher : Santa and Banta!why you reached school late today?
Santa : Madam, I lost a one rupee coin and I was searching for it.
Teacher : Banta, what about you?
Banta : Madam. .., I was not able to move ….because I was hiding that coin under my feet.

************************************************
Teacher : Santa! Make a sentence using “Neither-Nor”.
Santa : When girls wear tight fitting dresses, “NEiTHER” are they
comfortable, “NOR” are we!

************************************************

Wednesday Funny One-Liner Jokes

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Bhola: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Bhola: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai and jumps into the well.
Bhola: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

Teacher : Santa batao ‘M’ for kya hota hai?
Santa : Sir, Mother!
Teacher : Right! Aab batao W for kya hota hai?
Santa kuch sochne lagta hai
Teacher : Santa kya soch rahe ho?
Santa : Sir, mein yeh soch raha tha ki Maa ulti kaise ho gayi?

Teacher : Santa ye batao tense kitne tarah ke hote hai?
Santa : Teen maidam.
Teacher : Teeno ke ek-ek example batao.
Santa : Madam, meine kal aapki beti ko dekha tha. Aaj mein ussey pyar karta hu aur kal mein ussey bhaga kar le jaunga.

More Funny Jokes

******************************************************

Santa ek black aur ek white shocks pehenkar school aata hai.
Madam : Ghar jao aur moje badalkar aao.
Santa : Koi fayda nahi, waha bhi ek black aur ek white moja hi rakha hai.

******************************************************

Banta ne bahut koshish ki but 3 saal k baad bhi koi aulad nahi hui.
Kisi ne Banta ko Doctor Santa k pass jane ki salah di.
Dr. Santa : Banta Jee! Ye medicine lo aapko aulaad jarur hoga.
Lekin kewal medicine k bharose mat rehna, kuch mehnat bhi karna!

******************************************************

Ek baar Santa ka Gadha lapata ho jata hai
Wo mandir me jakar bhagwan ki murti k samne der tak prarthana karta hai.
Yeh dekhkar Banta ussey puchta hai, “Santa kya tum bhagwan se ye prarthana kar rahe ho
ki tumhara gadha tumhe mil jaye?.”
Santa : nahi yaar, mein to bhagwan ka sukriya ada kar raha tha ki unke
kripa se mein gadhe par sawar nahi tha, nahi to mein bhi lapata ho jata!

******************************************************

Funny Questions and its Answers

1) what is the cube of 13?
Its : SUROOR
wandaring how?
thats bcoz….
TERA * TERA * TERA = SUROOR

2) who was the 1st Indian woman fly abroad?
……….sita with ravan

3) wht did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing?
Ans: Aaila!!!!! kisne mera pocket maar liya

4) wht do u call a really colourful tamilian???
Ans: Rangamannar rangrajan

5) An elephant falls in luv wid n ent.but Ant’s parents r against their marrige…guess y??
they gave a solid reason…**Ladke k dat bahar hai**

6)ones sardarji saw a very soni kudi in the market & thought..
Ans : kash k ye meri maa hondi to main v inna sona honda..

7) Full form of MATHS????
Ans : Mentally Affected Teacher Harassing Students…