Naughty Collections

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Santa : I got old age pension by showing grey hair on my chest.

Jeeto : Pant ki zip khol ke dikha dete to Disability Allowance bhi mil jaata!!!

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Santa is raping a girl. Girl shouting,

Santa : Chillao yahan se tumhari awaz bahar nahi ja sakti,

Girl : Mujhe yakin nahi aata,

Santa : Theek hai mein yahan chillata hun tum bahar jaake suno aawaz aati hai ya nahi?

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A man goes 2 Doctor after being raped by an elephant.

Doctor : Your ass got 10 inches wider while elephant’s dick is only 3 inch wide.

Man : That bastard fingered me first.

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Husband to Wife : Mein shaadi se pehle 20 auraton ke saath so chuka hoon.

Wife : Mujhe pata tha ki jab kundli mili hai to aadatein bhi zarur milti hogi!!!

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On first night after marriage

Wife : Mujhe ghabrahat ho rahi hai.

Husband : I thinK because this is your first night.

Wife : No, no.. Actually it is first time in night…

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After legalizing gay’s relations in india

The question tailors are asking to male customers while stitching trousers…

“Sir, Zip aage lagau ya peeche?

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Height Of Embarrasment :

Man Sitting With his Wife in the Park

Another Lady Comes to his Wife and Says:

“Paise Pehly Le lena, ye admi Baad Mai Bahut Lafra Karta Hai.

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Medical science proved ki

Kapre tight pehnney se Blood Circulation ruk jati hai.

But

Larkiyon ke kapre jitne tight ho,

Larko ke blood circulation utni tez hoti hai!!

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Boss: Itne kam kapray pehan k q aai ho? Aadha jism dikh raha hai.

Girl: Itni salary mein yehi aata hai!

Boss: Manager, Iss ko 3 months tak salary mat dena

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A Boss has 2 Interview 4 Girls for Secretary Position. He asked each 1 of them

Question : A Woman Normally has 2 Mouths ! What’s the difference between the 2?

The 1st answered: 1 can talk But The other can′t.

2nd answered: 1 is Vertical & The other is Horizontal.

3rd answered: 1 is Hairy, The other isn′t.

The Last 1 answered: 1 is for My Use & The Other is for My Boss !

Boss: “Yes, You’re Hired !”

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Funny Naughty Jokes

Once a Hindu, a Muslim and our dear Santa Singh were standing together. An Englishman came up and asked, “Hey guys, what is your favorite flower? ”

The Hindu replied, ‘Lotus’ ‘Ha, I wipe my shit with that! ’ the Englishman jeered.
The Hindu got angry, the lotus being our national flower.

The Muslim replied: “Chameli” ‘Ha I wipe my shit with that! ’ The Englishman response

The Muslim also got angry but kept quite.

The Englishman asked Santa, ‘Sardarji, and what is your favorite flower? ’ Patriotic Santa replied: ‘Cactus! and replied, “Now wipe your ass with that! ”
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What is pure Hindi name of Condom??
Rubber ki Chiknai yukt Prajanan virodhak mardana Ling ki topi.
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Question : What is Long & Hard, has a hole at the tip and when u insert it into a wet,
hairy & tight hole makes u feel better?
Answer : Vicks Inhaler
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I like ur eyes
But dislike ur long size
I like ur lips
but dislike ur hips
I like ur nose
But dislike ur sexy poss!
I like ur smile
But dislike ur style
I like 2 kiss u
But dislike 2 miss u
I like ur breast
But dislike with u bed-rest
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A baniya do sex alternate days. His friend asks why not you do regularly.
Baniya Replies : Ke karen, ek din to condom sukhane me bhi lag jaave hai!
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Girl : Tum ladke kisi bhi ladki me sabse pehle kya dekhte ho?
Boy : Ye to depend karta hai ki ladki aa rahi hai ya ja rahi hai!!
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Dur gaon me jab maa baap sote nahi the,
to bacha kehta hai, so ja bapu,
so ja, warna ek aur ho jayega!!!
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