Mixed Collections Jokes

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Wife to Husband : Meri to koi aulad nahi hai isliye
sochti hu ki apni saari jaydad kisi sadhu ko daan kar dungi

Yeh sunkar pati uthkar jane laga

Patni : Tum kaha ja rahe ho?
Pati : Sadhu ban-ne
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Santa Banta se bola “Bhai aaj to chay peene ka maza aa gaya.”
Banta : Santa Jee, agar billi ne dudh me muh na mara hota to aur bhi
maza aata!!!
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Ek aadmi apne aap me kehta hu ja raha tha ki aisi zindagi se toh maut aachi.
Achanak Yamdoot aa gaya aur bola “Tumhari jaan lene ka hukm hai”
Aadmi : Lo batao, aab insaan mazaak bhi nahi kar sakta hai kya?
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Wife Saw Sign Board:

Nylon Saree
Rs.8/-
Cotton Saree
Rs.5/-
Banarsi Saree
Rs.10/-

Wife: Give me Rs.500 I’ll buy 50 Sarees.

Husband: Andhi! Dhobi ki dukaan hai
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Tuesday Funny Jokes

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Banta: Kee Gal hai Sante. Akelle kelle samosey kha reyan
Santa : Nahin yaarr, Chutney De Naal.
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Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave
Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.
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On 1st April sardar was travelling in a bus. Conductor
asked for the ticket, he gave him Rs. 10 and took the ticket
in his pocket and said,”April Fool”. I have pass.
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Jeeto: Ek baat batani hai, par please mujhe maroge to nahi.
Santa: Haan bolo.
Jeeto: Mein Pregnant hu.
Santa: It’s a gud News. Ess baat par kyu tumhe maru.
Jeeto: Shadi se pahle pitaji ko bataya to bahut maar padi thi.
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Sardar Funny Jokes

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A sardar had a baby after 3 months of marriage. He suspected
and asked to his wife, “Ye 3 month me hi baccha kaise hua?”

Wife Replied : Tumhari shaadi ko kitne din hue?
Sardar :  Three months

Wife : Aur meri shaadi ko?
Sardar : 3 months.

Wife : Aur bacha kitne month ke baad?
Sardar : 3 months.

Wife : Total kitne months hue?
Sardar : Oye 9 months & start dancing Balle Balle!!!!
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Sardar ne makhi ke legs tod kar kaha, Ja udd ja..
Lekin Makkhi nahi udi, Sardar ne kaha..
“Aab to saabit ho gaya ki agar makkhi ke legs tod di jaye
to makkhi sun nahi sakti!!!”

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Ek sarder ne air-hostess se kaha, “Aapki shakal meri biwi
se bahut milti hai”.
Air-hostess ne ye sunte hi zordaar thappad uske muh pe mara…
Sardar foran bola : “Aadat bhi bahut milti hai”

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Ek din Santa jungle se gujar raha tha
Chudail ne use roka aur kaha : Ho ho ho Ha ha ha…Mein Chudail hu.
Sardar : Menu pata hai…kyunki teri ek behen meri biwi hai!

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Ek chor Sardar jee k mobile ko lekar bhar raha tha.
Sardar hasne laga
Banta : Wo tumhare mobile ko lekar bhag raha hai aur tum hans rahe ho.

Sardar : Bhagne do, charger to mere paas hai!

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Sardar ke radio me kuch problem ho gayi to aur kharab ho gaya
Usne radio khol kar dekha to ek mara hua chuha mila
Ye dekh kar sardar gussa ho gaya aur bola : Ye chalega kaise?
Sala singer hi mara pada hai
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Wednesday Funny One-Liner Jokes

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Bhola: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Bhola: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai and jumps into the well.
Bhola: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

Teacher : Santa batao ‘M’ for kya hota hai?
Santa : Sir, Mother!
Teacher : Right! Aab batao W for kya hota hai?
Santa kuch sochne lagta hai
Teacher : Santa kya soch rahe ho?
Santa : Sir, mein yeh soch raha tha ki Maa ulti kaise ho gayi?

Teacher : Santa ye batao tense kitne tarah ke hote hai?
Santa : Teen maidam.
Teacher : Teeno ke ek-ek example batao.
Santa : Madam, meine kal aapki beti ko dekha tha. Aaj mein ussey pyar karta hu aur kal mein ussey bhaga kar le jaunga.

Funny Questions and its Answers

1) what is the cube of 13?
Its : SUROOR
wandaring how?
thats bcoz….
TERA * TERA * TERA = SUROOR

2) who was the 1st Indian woman fly abroad?
……….sita with ravan

3) wht did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing?
Ans: Aaila!!!!! kisne mera pocket maar liya

4) wht do u call a really colourful tamilian???
Ans: Rangamannar rangrajan

5) An elephant falls in luv wid n ent.but Ant’s parents r against their marrige…guess y??
they gave a solid reason…**Ladke k dat bahar hai**

6)ones sardarji saw a very soni kudi in the market & thought..
Ans : kash k ye meri maa hondi to main v inna sona honda..

7) Full form of MATHS????
Ans : Mentally Affected Teacher Harassing Students…

Fresh Short Funny SMS

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While visiting Santa’s house, Banta noticed that he had replaced his usual TV with a smaller model.
Thinking that perhaps the larger set has broken down, Banta asked why the small one was there.

“Oh,” Santa replied, “I have decided to watch less Tv.”

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A father was teaching
the spelling of word “ASSASSINATION”
to his child.

He says:
ek Gadha(ASS),
uspar ek aur Gadha(ASS)
jispar Mein(I),
aur mujh par sara Desh(Nation)
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Teacher : Nissar tum kaise paida hue?
Nissar : Jawani janeman …….
Hasin dilruba…..Mile do dil jawaan……
Nissar ho gaya