Once Amitabh Bachchan and Pran were travelling in a train and were engaged in a good gossip for the entire journey. A station came after hours and Pran boarded off. Mr. Bachchan remained. A stranger co-passenger asked to Mr. Bachchan, “Both of you seemed good friend, why didn’t you go away with him.” Amitabh said, “Pran jae per Vachan na jae.”
Romans were never good on Algebra because there ‘X’ was always ‘10.’
A lady tourist went to a country on a vacation. In the evening she was toddling on the beach. A security person came to her and said, “Mam only one-piece is allowed here.” The lady was awe, thinking which one to open.
Once a Sardar, his wife, son and daughter went to a private party. There he introduces his family to a stranger by saying, “I am Sardar, she is Sardarni, he is my kid and she is my kidney.”
Once a Hindu, a Muslim and our dear Santa Singh were standing together. An Englishman came up and asked, “Hey guys, what is your favorite flower? ”
The Hindu replied, ‘Lotus’ ‘Ha, I wipe my shit with that! ’ the Englishman jeered.
The Hindu got angry, the lotus being our national flower.
The Muslim replied: “Chameli” ‘Ha I wipe my shit with that! ’ The Englishman response
The Muslim also got angry but kept quite.
The Englishman asked Santa, ‘Sardarji, and what is your favorite flower? ’ Patriotic Santa replied: ‘Cactus! and replied, “Now wipe your ass with that! ”
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A baniya do sex alternate days. His friend asks why not you do regularly.
Baniya Replies : Ke karen, ek din to condom sukhane me bhi lag jaave hai!
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Girl : Tum ladke kisi bhi ladki me sabse pehle kya dekhte ho?
Boy : Ye to depend karta hai ki ladki aa rahi hai ya ja rahi hai!!
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Dur gaon me jab maa baap sote nahi the,
to bacha kehta hai, so ja bapu,
so ja, warna ek aur ho jayega!!!
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Sardarni : Lo light chali gayi.
Sardar : Light chali gayi hai to fan chala do.
Sardarni :Lo fir se kar di na sardaro wali baat. Agar fan chalaunga to mombatti bujh nahi jayegi!
Pregnant Sardarni carred ISI mark on her stomach.
When asked why ISI mark..
She replied…ISI means INTELLIGENT SARDAR INSIDE.
Ek Ladka gadhe ke samne achana gir pada…To samne se aa rahi
ladki ne dekhkar bola…Apne bade bhai ke pair chu rahe ho…
Ladka bola : Haan bhabhi jee!
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Sardar’s Son - Papa jaldi-2 mera viya kra deo nahi ta main DAADI nal viya kra lavanga.
Sardar:oye tu meri MAA nal viya krayenga.!
Son:-kyo tusi meri MAA nal ni krayea..
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Santa : Meri biwi mujhe chorr ke chali gayi.
Banta : Tu uska khyal nahi rakhta hoga.
Santa : Arre yaar…Sagi behen ki tarah rakhta tha usko!
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Santa : Preeto chal honeymoon te chaliye.
Preeto : Mein velli nahi, main halle kapde v dhone e, te pande vi manjne e, tusi beeji nu le jao.
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English Teacher: “One cute and young girl is walking on the road.” Change this into an punjabi exclamatory sentence.
Sardar student:- “Oye,pataka !”
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SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.
1.Strength: My wife, Jeeto.
2.Weakness: Banta’s wife, Preeto.
3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.
4.Threat: When I am on tour!!!
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Santa : Yaar aaj mein bus ke peeche peecha daudkar three rupees bacha liye.
Banta : Kya yaar, tum to bahut murkh ho, agar taxi ke peeche bhagte to 100 rupees bachta!
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Air hostess: Aap 1 hours me 4 baar toilet gaye! R U OK? Kya aap ko chein nahi hai?
Santa: ‘Chain’ hai par khulti nahi hai!!!
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Wife: Please bike itni taze na chalao mujhey bahut dar lag raha hai.
Sardar: Agar tumhe bhi daar lag raha hai to meri tarah ankhein band karlo!!!
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Sardar to doctor: Jab mein sota hu to mere sapne me monkeys football khelte hai.
Dr: Koi baat nahi ye medicine sone se pehle kha lena.
Sardar: Kal se khaonga, aaj to final hai!!!
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A sardar had a baby after 3 months of marriage. He suspected
and asked to his wife, “Ye 3 month me hi baccha kaise hua?”
Wife Replied : Tumhari shaadi ko kitne din hue?
Sardar : Three months
Wife : Aur meri shaadi ko?
Sardar : 3 months.
Wife : Aur bacha kitne month ke baad?
Sardar : 3 months.
Wife : Total kitne months hue?
Sardar : Oye 9 months & start dancing Balle Balle!!!!
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Sardar ne makhi ke legs tod kar kaha, Ja udd ja..
Lekin Makkhi nahi udi, Sardar ne kaha..
“Aab to saabit ho gaya ki agar makkhi ke legs tod di jaye
to makkhi sun nahi sakti!!!”
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Ek sarder ne air-hostess se kaha, “Aapki shakal meri biwi
se bahut milti hai”.
Air-hostess ne ye sunte hi zordaar thappad uske muh pe mara…
Sardar foran bola : “Aadat bhi bahut milti hai”
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Ek din Santa jungle se gujar raha tha
Chudail ne use roka aur kaha : Ho ho ho Ha ha ha…Mein Chudail hu.
Sardar : Menu pata hai…kyunki teri ek behen meri biwi hai!
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Ek chor Sardar jee k mobile ko lekar bhar raha tha.
Sardar hasne laga
Banta : Wo tumhare mobile ko lekar bhag raha hai aur tum hans rahe ho.
Sardar : Bhagne do, charger to mere paas hai!
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Sardar ke radio me kuch problem ho gayi to aur kharab ho gaya
Usne radio khol kar dekha to ek mara hua chuha mila
Ye dekh kar sardar gussa ho gaya aur bola : Ye chalega kaise?
Sala singer hi mara pada hai
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what is the extreme limit of stupidity? Two Sardars sitting on a Rikshaw….,
and….,
fighting for a corner seat.
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A Sardar looking at sky asks another Sardar :Is that a sun or moon? Other Sardar replies :Oye ! No idea…Im new to this city..
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Ladkiyon ke college me strike thi,
Ladke bhi unke saath the
Ladkiyon ne naara lagaya:
“HUMARI MAANGE”
Pichhe se awaaz aayi:
“SINDUR SE BHARO”
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